So I wanted to write about running again today, but this time explore the psychology behind it and why it has become so addicting for me.
For the longest time I assumed I would hate running. It has always been a challenge for me because, in spite my complete lack of preparedness every time, I would still start off with loud music in a giant sprint. This of course was an equation for failure...every time! My approach lately, yes fueled by desire for weight loss and a better marriage, has started me on a healthy increase of endurance.
At first I kept it short .5 miles, then .75, then 1, and so on so forth. Second I set a goal, 5.6 mile marathon on June 11th. Check. Now I have started measuring my distance with the handy dandy "Run Keeper" app for my IPhone from which I am motivated by the encouraging automated voice: "activity summary: distance: 3.1 miles, time: 28.56 minutes, average pace: 11.2 minutes a mile". I LOVE this! Its like my very own coach encouraging me to keep going, push forward, all to hear over my earphones a larger number, a longer time, a smaller average. This is my first point. The addiction of success.
I think we all know how good it feels to accomplish a goal we have set. But the most of us (including me) set goals that we know we can do : i.e. say no to the next cupcake, smile at more strangers, order a salad instead of fries, tell our spouse we love them more. Do you see my point? I have done nothing but set goals I KNEW i could accomplish. But here I am, a living proof that we can accomplish our "impossible" goals. It is possible; and believe it or not, the progress we make everyday begins to be our motivator, and I love it. Now
I am the one encouraging me, not Hans, not family, not friends, ME!!! I never knew I had this power. Yes, I still look in the mirror and see the "old" misty, but I think my mind just needs time to catch up with my heart; because I not only feel successful and proud when I run a longer run, but also when I say no to another plate of fries. The feeling associated with these far out ways the momentary comfort of stopping to rest or salivating over the grease and salt. I LOVE pushing myself now and feeling good about it! Never in a million years did I think "chubby Misty" could run 5 miles in one hour!
The exciting thing is that this concept can roll over into anything we want. For example, my sister Tami is working on writing a book! I love that; and her response? "Why not"! EXACTLY sis! You will never know ability until you try, and if no one else is there to tell you how awesome you are...so what? Aren't you someone? Aren't you excited for yourself? Then that's all that matters. The concern of what "others" think should be, and will be replaced by the what do "I" think. It's a very freeing, OH and ADDICTING feeling.
This leads me to my second and last point. The mental/stress release that comes with my running is something I never expected. I find myself struggling every time to bust into it and sync into the rhythm. It is a mind and body battle for about 1.5 miles, then the two FINALLY stop arguing and we all begin to play nice. I joke here, but it is true. I literally can feel my mind slow and "give in" to my body's pace. I take one, automatic deep breath, and my mind calms, my legs move themselves, and the only words... "dreamlike state". I don't think about my life, work, or relationship. The stresses of the day/week are washed away, and I can finally clear my mind. This is as I said above...addicting.
It is the most peaceful hour of my day and I look forward to my turn again.
How amazing is that! I don't mean me, but the mind and body idea. I am so amazed at how we are built and maintained, and how quite literally when fed and exercised right, we are clean running machines, naturally de-stressing, detoxifying, and purifying ourselves. God has made us so well, I just need to take care of me and the rest is in hands.
Ironically, I am still very much struggling with self esteem, but all of this is helping so much. I can only imagine where I would be if I hadn't made this change when I did. I am not thankful for the pain that pushed me to make said change, but I am thankful that I was given another chance, and with it I made a healthy decision. I pray that I will maintain this strength and continue to stay addicted to my runs.
Good luck with your own battles...I know we can all do it! Let's stop with the excuses, believe it's all you...and guess what...that's enough!
Thanks for reading,
Until next blog. Cheers